October seems to be the month of everything.
National Brain Injury Awareness Month, National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, National Disability Employment Awareness Month, National Down Syndrome Awareness Month, Miscarriage and Infant Loss Awareness Month, Month of the Holy Rosary…
The list goes on and on, but it’s the last two I mentioned that resonate with me the most.
As a mother who hasn’t met any of her children, October is a difficult month for me. This year has been especially challenging because I had my third miscarriage just a few months ago, the month before my husband deployed.
And as if processing my grief with my husband gone wasn’t enough, this past month brought 11 pregnancy announcements, 3 baby showers, and 7 deliveries within my circle of friends and family members.
Although my heart is so happy for all those mothers and their families, this has not been a comfortable time for me. There’s a feeling in my chest that I can’t quite explain. A strange mixture of needing to mourn and wanting to shut it all out. Trying to celebrate the joy of new life while acknowledging the pain that comes with its loss.
Praying the Holy Rosary and meditating on its mysteries has helped me process these feelings. I highly doubt it is a coincidence that Miscarriage and Infant Loss Awareness Month and the Month of the Holy Rosary both take place in October.
Despite the grief, the sorrow, the loneliness, and the awkward conversations about pregnancy and new life, I have found comfort.
Comfort in calling out to the Blessed Mother.
Comfort in knowing she knows what it’s like to lose a child.
Comfort in following the example of her “yes” to God.
Comfort in trusting God’s Will for my life and the life of my children.
Comfort in celebrating the joy that comes with watching the Lord’s plan unfold.
Comfort in being loved by her and her Son.
Perhaps you, too, know the sorrow that comes from being a childless mother. Or maybe your pain comes from some other source. A death. A heartbreak. An illness. An injury. No matter why or how badly you are hurting, Mama Mary is here to support you through your struggles.
Find comfort in the maternal love she has to offer and allow her to take your suffering to Jesus for you.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen. ❤